Let's get acquainted! We are Tania and Sergey Zulkarnyeyevs.
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A bit later as within any other couple there was a talk of a family extension, i.e. the kids, who we wished to have more than one, at least three. Tania's got diabetes with which even one pregnancy carries a great deal of risk
And suddenly Sergey throws an idea: no pregnancies, let's adopt a kid. Tania catches the idea: indeed, let us try to love quite a 'strange' little human, since to love your own kid, related to you is absolutely natural whereas there is the one who can be deprived of that….So it's settled − we are adopting a kid , but Tania insists, afterwards we will have our child as well. Sergey suggests to adopt a boy, and here's another idea: it must be a different race/nation kid who unfortunately has 'more chances' to stay without a family
Next day we are leaving the building of department of education with a list of documents needed for adoption and with a photograph of an 8-month old 'chocolate wonder' . But, unfortunately our decision sets our relatives against us: adoption, dark-skinned, what for?! Despite everything we pick all the documents and wait for the certificate of no criminal conviction for the WHOLE month. We have rather paradoxical procedure as regards adoption: you will not see a kid until all the documents are gathered.
Therefore with a pack of cookies we go to the orphanage, enter the group of one year olds, treat kids and see him: red crawlers on a chocolate little body, and no reaction to us at all. Where does he come from? It's not important to us
In the department of education they understood our eagerness to get acquainted with a kid closer and allowed to meet him after presenting medical certificates only. So this is how Vladislav came into our life in 2005.
In a year we realized all the feelings we had towards Vlad: so dear that even a smell is our own, it seemed that every cell of his body was created by us. And he grew a gentle and cheerful boy. Perhaps there were too many feelings for the only him. We wished to share that with other children, and in return to have that great warmth of YOUR kid. Once Tania said: I'm afraid to bear a child, Vladik might become an orphan all of a sudden. She didn't even think that a newborn baby could be the one as well. There was only Vlad, the most cherished and loved.
And again the documents for adoption, for two kids now. Before signing the last document, the board of trustees judgment of adoption appropriateness, while examining our home conditions, one of the officials, who heard we intended to adopt two more kids not necessarily of Ukrainian origin, offered a new form of foster family.
This time we went to another orphanage in Tadzhytska street where 3-year old and older kids lived. We entered the group and saw Lika . The very Lika we remembered from the orphanage we adopted Vladik from, who would always run to us while visiting Vlad, and who was never adopted because her mother was imprisoned with temporary releases and reconvictions. It was impossible to relieve her of parental custody, since imprisonment is a «valid » excuse not to take interest in your child. So then we completely understood who a foster family is needed for: for kids like Lika, who will keep on growing in orphanages, while their biological parents arrange their lives moving from one prison to another, etc
We left the building looking for the front gate and discussing the chances of a foster family for Lika. There were kids playing in the yard. Suddenly we glimpsed a long white plait among kids' heads. The hostess of such beauty turned out to be 6-year old Liza .
Oh, it was a real pain to collect all necessary documents for our Elizabeth! Whereas we «won» Lika comparatively easily, and on December 27 there was the executive committee resolution to place Lika in our foster family like our wedding anniversary present, Liza was the one to be fought for. Who was this beauty kept for till the age of six without a proper legal status for both adoption or fostering without having a single relative? Her mother, being in search for a long time, was relieved of parental custody only after we started insisting on placing Liza in our foster family together with Lika. And so Liza got the status of orphan child, and only in May 2007 there was the executive committee resolution concerning Liza who had already lived with us for half a year.
Then within two months there were collecting documents, waiting for the resolution, worries about the unprepared apartment intended for foster home. On November 30th there's a call from Chervonohrad: Ihor doesn't sign the agreement for living in foster home. It needs to be said that till that time we were hardly allowed to take Ihor for autumn holidays to spend with us to see where he was going to spend his future life, who with. Ihor liked it much however he was never allowed to visit us any more. So our meetings could not be frequent since these are different cities. Tania makes a call to the headmaster's office and asks for Ihor. He cries and can't say anything clear, then there's nothing better to ask than: “ Do you want us to come over for you right now?” (Ihor's official transfer was assigned for the next day, December 1). It's 5 pm now and it's 'a bit' late to set off, but Ihor weeps into a receiver: “ I want it mom, I want, take me from here!” At about 6:30 we and our social worker, whose working day had been over long ago, enter the orphanage in Chervonohrad (thank You, Ira Tril, for your support, you are always close, to us all: foster parents in Lviv). Ihor signs the agreement at once, but the headmaster keeps insisting that we can take the child only the next day having completed all the documents. Just an hour ago he was claiming that Ihor would refuse to sign anything as we hadn’t established our contact properly. But how? The orphanage management categorically forbade to take Ihor home even for weekends, and those few visits we managed to make could hardly be called a proper contact establishment. Another paradox…Nevertheless later Ihor told us that the adults from the orphanage were dessuading to go to the foster home by telling different awful stories about foster children that inspired a lot of doubt in the kid’s head. For the orphanage staff unfortunately Ihor’s life was just the one that formed the amount of children that affected the financing and working places of the institution.
The same day we managed to visit smaller kids in Lviv orphanage and, moreover, “palming off" our 3 kids to our beloved Lena (by the way great thanks to Lena for her support and presence in our life, her son Nikita, Tania's god son, is a real brother to our kids) could also go to Chervonograd and get acquainted with Ihor who we were the greatest doubts about. The boy was 9 with almost a shaped personality, so above all we had to consider his willingness or unwillingness to live or even to contact with us. Ihor turned out to be a great kid and next morning Tania shocked the officials by the velocity of decision claiming: “We are taking these kids!”
Finally we took Ihor home (it was very important for the kid) and next day came back to complete all the documents and formally transfer Volbuyev senior to our family.
On December 11 Lviv orphanage ‘handed’ us Olesya and Bohdan. Withing 11 remaining days we managed to transfer Liza and Ihor to a new school in Syhiv (our current area) near our new home (a big apartment in 5-storey block, it’s not a house, no yard, neigbours who are not very happy to live next to so many noisy kids :), and so on; but when we saw real children who needed home we didn’t care much). Every morning we picked kids to a new school and things that would fit into our ‘huge’ car to the apartment that was being furnished. At 10 pm we came back our old home, went to bed and in the morning it was all over again. But everything’s behind, we are now a large family. A sister and two Volobuyev brothers are together again. They were separated when their mother left home, Bohdan was 4 months then, Olesya was 1,5 year old, Ihor was 7; by the way, he missed the first year of school, looked after the kids.
And again new kids, we get used to them, they adapt to us, however with the previous experience it’s much easier now. Pitfalls show up: Olesya has got eardrum perforation, her ear gets infected almost after every cold what we were not warned about by orphanage doctors; experts say soon she will need a serious operation. Moreover during the first month Olesya defecated in her bed every day both at home and kindergarten. But everything normalizes with time. Dania (Bohdan) keeps doing that even now; unlike Olesya who had a nervous reaction to a rapid environment change Bohdan, unfortunately, lags seriously in development. It’s June 2008 now, Dania is making noticeable progress. Ihor became a crybaby, perhaps he compensates his lost childhood.
And also iguana Dousya, for kids she is a small dragon
Generally we got really close to each other and even got our family pets: golden retriever Lada with not a dog character and kindness who tolerates you can imagine what from our kids especially smaller ones.
As foster parents we try to be up to date as regards fostering in Ukraine. And surely we were aware of the foster family started by a single father for a 10-year old boy but had no chance to meet them.
Within half a year of foster family life Volodia shows himself in all ‘teenage beauty’. And his foster dad couldn’t handle it anymore. It worsened father’s health condition and in a year with a heavy heart he realizes that he can’t raise Volodia anymore. At this very moment we got acquainted with Vova and all the social worker’s issues aroused around this kid’s future touch us for some reason as well. Perhaps the reason is that the boy has got an open and sincere soul. Officially he continues living in his foster family but often comes round to us. We are getting to know him while the matter of his life is being decided. And gloomier the picture seems of Volodia’s future unless there are no foster parents agreeing to take a hard teenager till his current foster family has been revoked. He will get to an orphan asylum since one can’t return to an orphanage once being in a foster family according to law. We take a decision to be his parents and to give him a chance realizing it’d be hard. But what is easy, requiring no efforts in our life? VOLODIA needs it!
In the summer of 2008 our whole family together with Lada, god son’s mom Lena and Nikita went to the Black Sea in Skadovsk, Kherson region. Everybody is sure that it was tremendously difficult with all the kids at the seaside. It’s not true! It wasn’t quite easy though we had a good rest. It really was hard to GET there. We traveled by car with 3 smaller kids: Dania, Olesya and Vladik plus Ladushka. Our patient Lena took the rest by train: her son Nikita, Vova and Ihor (the carriage didn’t sleep a wink), Liza and Lika. Oh, how badly we need a van!
September, hurray, school! For Vova it’s a new 6 th grade, new opportunities to show himself at both positive and negative sides what he successfully does. The level of his knowledge is of the 3 rd grade (reads by syllables, the multiplication table was only heard about). It’s hard but we are coping with it. The main idea is not only we but his teachers see a positive pivot deep inside him wound by a negative life experience. So we are unwinding it little by little.
Life is going on, we are nine already plus six pets. The two ones were introduced earlier, golden retriever Lada and iguana Dusya. Shame on us but we forgot about Stesha a tortoise who’s lived in our family for 6 years.
In summer walking with kids we found ourselves on the market and left it with two rats in the basket. They were absolutely bald, Double Rex breed) but got haired in no time for some reason.
Eventually Tania’s dream comes true: we are buying a cat but what a cat! Sphynx, born hairless, even no moustache. He’s name is Larry who appeared to be an unusual pet, an amalgam of a cat, dog, and some moonlight creature.
One day Tania's friend is calling her saying the great babies are broadcast on TV in search for family project. Tania got surprised: babies need not to be on TV to be adopted. Then it turned out, the babies happened to be transcarpathian gypsies. Such babies are quite unlikely to be taken in a family unless in 3 years they might be adopted abroad. But a baby requires warmth and care from the very birth. Won't our family be able to give it? Tania called the director of Transcarpathian children's department Svitlana, amazing her by the intention to take kids from another region (in fact it doesn't disagree with the law, but there's an oral instruction to give children to foster families within a region). Anyhow Sviltlana approved our brave decision, and we started to work jointly. After all we didn't care much what the kids must be like, we were ready to accept 1-2 kids up to 2 years old and try to give them family "from their birth" . It turned out to be twins Peter and Paul, born in June 2008 (the beginning of this story falls on the end of 2009). Tania got really enthusiastic about the twins, hard, premature (1 and 1,4 kg at birth), with possible disorders, without proper documents for placing in a family. We didn't even see their pictures. Anyway we managed to convince all the officials that we do nopt break the law, howver heard enough of remarks like " there will be no transcarpathian gypsies in Lviv foster home ". We got very annoyed about this. The feelings of adopted Vlad could be hurt too, who is also of transcarpathian gypsy's origin. We had to turn to Kyiv for assistance. We saw their first picture nearly after 2 months when Lviv sent the approval to accept kids to Uzhgorod. We saw the kids when they were 11 months, and took them at a year and 10 days, for Tania's 35th anniversary, on the same very day. The kids weighed 7 and 7,5 кg had 2 teeth each and what was really terrible, - they were unable to turn over! It's not just they couldn't walk, stand, sit, but they lay only on the back, unable to turn on the stomach. This is the way a 4-month baby behaves. They couldn't hold toys in hands, eat from a spoon. In fact we had everything from scratch. We still remember the neurologist's words in policlinic: "The kids are 12,5 months? Do you have any idea who you have taken?! You are going to come in a month on a regular checkup where we will be quite likely to raise a question about infantile cerebral paralysis" But in a month we were already by the sea. In 2 - we sat, in 3 - ran in baby walkers, at a year and 4 months we walked! Firmly, confidently, immediately, on one day, both. Now we are 2 years old. We grow normally and steadily almost corresponding our age, for all that we were premature. In autumn 2010 we are going to kindergarten.
